Debunk Misinformation! Helping Families to Process the Los Angeles Wildfires
I don’t think there was a single Los Angeles resident that wasn't on high alert during the shocking wildfires. The adult norm entailed daily (no actually more like hourly) checking of the Duty Fire map, watching air quality, reviewing items to bring for (or in case of) evacuation, checking on loved ones, and grieving the loss of familiar landmarks and community.
Certainly children picked up on the stressful energy of the moment. Some will be traumatized, they have lost home and/or school, their neighborhood, and general familiarity. These families may need to seek talk, art, or EMDR therapy to process the traumatic events. Other children may not be traumatized but have been living in a higher state of stress than is healthy for their developing minds and bodies.
Just like adults, children need information to help process their emotional experiences. Connecting the Amygdala (the emotional brain) with the Frontal Lobes (the thinking brain) is an essential process in healing from high stress situations. It entails a combination of intellectually understanding what happened and emotionally expressing what you are feeling.
The events happening here in LA were fast moving, adults and children were picking up bits and pieces of information, it was easy for the information to be inaccurate or dramatized as it was happening. But now that the fires have settled, it is important for parents to clear things up with their child so they understand what they just lived through.
Because it's important to clarify to our child what is real and what is false, we should first ask them the question: “What do you know about the fires that happened in Los Angeles?”. It’s best to do this BEFORE we tell them the version of the story we want them to know.
Why do we assess misinformation first?
3 reasons:
To Know: We want to know what they are thinking.
Set the story straight: Explain what's false and providing the facts to our children
Limit Information Blending: We do not want our children to mesh real and false information together for their version of the story.
Steps to Helping Your Child Process
Follow A Few Simple Steps
Once you have debunked the misinformation you can choose your words carefully and discuss what reality you want them to know. You want to validate the seriousness of the situation but not overwhelm them with facts that developmentally they can’t understand. During this process you can also open up the discussion so your child can share their feelings. In doing so you then have an opportunity to validate their feelings and reassure them that they are safe. As part of that reassurance process you may want to share a few details of your plan and next steps.
I know that processing the events can be very overwhelming. Just try your best and follow your instincts during this very stressful aftermath. If you are feeling very anxious or managing your own grief, you may want to seek therapeutic help. When parents feel better they have more clarity on how to parent and better communication skills.